2016年3月8日 星期二


The only time in my life that I seriously thought of killing someone, I mean vividly pictured myself aiming my M-14 rifle at someone’s crane and pull the trigger was then … 當兵時我曾想幹掉7班的班長

陸戰隊那時缺觀測官,原本拒考(預官)三民主義而當上了«大專兵»的我,卻在下部隊不到1週,就被指派為(代理)前進觀測官The whole Marine hated us, ‘cos we were the «xx!歹鑽仔! Fxxxxxg College Graduates». Not only because we served 1 year shorter than all the other conscripts, but that most of us were assigned to some easier office jobs … except me!
Why recalling this in English? Simply because I started to record my soldier’s experiences thru writing and secretly, thru foto-taking by a small camera borrowed from my best friend  阿修哥 知道輔導長會偷看,我開始用英文寫日記 …until when he, the deputy  直到7 班班長代理3天輔導長 took my diary and tore it to pieces in front of the whole company, accusing me of  我藐視上級,思想偏激 … 

思想起 甘蔗好吃伊嘟雙頭甜啊! 恒春的落山風,不再吹去我一粒頭 … Nah! I wasn’t humming this one. 這一首是每次跟我跑四重溪,睡同一個野戰帳篷的有線兵 洪打 會唱的歌。The one I was humming pretty often when I was alone by myself was this one: I shot the Sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy … (Eric Clapton) 格外適合落山風中大行軍的黑夜!
I was a private, or more precisely上等兵觀測官, serving as Forward Observer and Sniper-Elite in the Marine Corps in Southern Taiwan, and the chance came when we underwent a live-ammo landing operation. 因為兼狙擊手,實彈演習時我比一般步兵多領2個彈夾 嘿嘿嘿! I shot the Sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy …

That deputy 輔導長 was himself a Sergeant 士官,but one of the tallest and musclest of our Company.  He was like cursing all the time and always got into fight with someone, or rather beat up someone he didn’t like. 

其實真正把我打翻在地,讓我體驗到«天玄地轉,頭冒金星»的不是他! 是一連連長。Holy shit! «頭冒金星»不是漫畫亂畫的耶 … in broad daylight and in front of the whole battalion’s FO officers, I saw stars twinkling all around me … 東南西北的方向都還摸不清 …I heard 爬出去! 我叫你爬出去! 那場沙盤觀測的監考官(一連連長) 拿著我畫的觀測圖一腳又踢過來。

I grabbed my hat and crawled like hell 一面爬,一面暗幹! 我知道叫(應該是命令)我去代考的排長就坐在沙盤另一頭,他不可能挺身出來,承認自己的低能和命我寫他名字交卷的事實 … it's actually a fight btw he and the commander of the 1st squadron, either way, I knew, I was just a God damned soldier, NOT a real 觀測官 ... 乖乖爬 吧! 誰叫你拒考三民主義!
But I wasn’t planning to shoot him, I mean to shoot Sergeant Major Chang , who ordered me to fake the test for him. 我前面就講了,我想幹掉的是7班班長,不是打我的一連連長,也不是叫我去代考的張排 ’Cos he wasn’t a bad guy at all. As he was the only 陸戰隊專科班 officer in the Company, and didn’t  get along with the other officers. I remember he was the only one that would sit down to drink and play cards with us soldiers after field drills. AND it was he who actually covered me up when he found those novels hidden in my Gas Mask during a pre-operation inspection… 

這也是我做海陸仔的另一個祕密,不管是大行軍、師對抗、登陸演習,藏在防毒面具或觀測官資料袋裡的,不是長壽烟,不是檳榔,也不是撲克牌,而是當代的英文流行小說。我記得2年裡讀了 The Eye of the needle (by Ken Follett), Ragtime (by E. L. Doctorow) Catcher in the Rye (J.D. Salinger)…  

And if you really wanna hear about it … 我想幹掉7班班長,不是因為他撕了我日記,罰我舉槍交互蹲跳 it was when he beat up 劉聰賢 real bad for no reason! Absolutely no reason!  He beat Liu up almost to death and nobody, including me couldn’t do anything  to stop him. It was then I started to think about finishing him off, one day. ! That'd be the 反攻大陸的第一槍!

Liu, a Bunun Aborigines, was one of my best pals in the company. We spent a lot of Weekend together and got very close  to each other. That's because he always failed 莒光日 written test and was all the time condemned to stay on Weekend duty! It's not fair but nobody cared if it's not fair or not to ask him to take the test when the fact he didn’t  finish his school and couldn’t even read. 你叫人家考什麼莒光日的試啊! 幹! Weren't we trained to kill, not to read and write?

那我呢? 極厭惡放假後的收心操,每次就乾脆自願留守 和劉聰賢站完衛兵後一起喝啤酒,啃鴨頭,聽落山風 ….  

新聞報導恒春三軍聯訓基地要結束,令人思想起 … how lucky we are that for the last 70 some years, no war had broken out between the Reds and us, no marine was killed on the beach of either side … from friendly fire … 令幸福的我思想起 甘蔗好吃伊嘟雙頭甜啊!

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